I have an exam in my Math 121.1 later where I need to get a devastating 59.8% so I won’t need to take the finals. I do not know what came into me to write at this moment of panic and crisis.
The last time I loved and was loved in return was so long ago that I could not imagine myself feeling it again.
Maybe I am thinking of this right now because of a heartbreak that happened a few weeks back. I have no ability to tell whether he was just dense or pretending to be dense. How many times did I say I was already quitting on him? How many times should I tell my friends I have already moved on? Deep inside, I knew I was still hoping.
Although I had other crushes whom I knew would never like me back, I know that the feeling I had for this person was unique and true. Funny, isn’t it? You were kicked out of his life, and even if you knew you could not enter into it, you’re just there, waiting at the door of his heart to open again.
What am I saying?
But that’s not really my point. I just thought of the past when someone loved me in return. I didn’t notice the time. I barely remember how it felt.
How does it feel to have butterflies inside your stomach when your love holds your hand while whispering he loves you continuously? To be hugged by this person you hold so dear? To swipe your worries away when he sings to apologize no matter how big his faults were? To be paranoid at night as you cry and get scared that you may lose him and all you wanted to do was to go and find him just to say not to let go of you?
While I am reviewing Laplace transformations, these are my thoughts. Better get back to reviewing. Love later.