“Sarap mo ka-gala, ano? May magandang pictures, may libre pa, tapos spontaneous pa.” (You’re amazing to be with, aren’t you? You take good pictures, you even treat people, and you’re spontaneous.)

People often tell that to me.

Well, I’d like to note it here that, like writing, it’s my form of escapism. Before, I wanted to be alone to be able to write, but now that I’m having stronger suicidal tendencies and even darker thoughts, I’d rather be somewhere else doing something else and forget things. I discovered this “method” a year ago. I am actually not sure if it only worsened my situation since, as I’ve said, I am in a point in my life where I don’t mind dying.

Besides, for me who has not yet seen my purpose in life, wandering is my best option.

Does it help? Somehow. But I have to be so tired so when I come home, I’d only have to sleep.

Merry Christmas.

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