Last-Minute Reflection This 2021: My Highs and Lows

I’m meeting 2022 with a fever, but this won’t stop me from blogging. Every year naman, maraming ganap. This year, not much. Definitely not my favorite year, but I don’t hate it either.

The Highs

Pinaka-high ko talaga this year ang makapagtrabaho sa Wattpad. Thanks to Rayne and Nayin for recommending me. At first I was really hesitant. Feeling ko hindi ko kaya. Pero I’m always like that, e. Lagi ko na lang pinalalampas ang opportunity. So no, not this time.

Then high ko rin ang makabalik sa momentum sa pagsusulat. This year, I finished Over Again, wrote three short stories, and started a prose compilation and one novella entitled Laro Tayo. Alam ko it’s not much, pero for me na naging busy, it was what I can accomplish. Salamat sa 358K follows!

Nakapagumpisa ako ng passion project ko this year: Kape Tayo, Rizal on Facebook, Instagram, and Tiktok. Since ang hilig ko din namang magkape at magpunta sa mga magagandang lugar, why not, di ba? Natutuwa lang ako na makapunta sa iba’t ibang kapehan. For sure, I’ll continue this project hanggang sa ma-cover ko lahat ng cafes.

The Lows

From March to July, puro lang ako trabaho and walang dumadating na pera. I thought kaya ng savings ko, pero I thought ko lang pala talaga iyon. So pagdating ng money, I spoiled myself and others to death. I fixed my room, bought yummy foods, spent my money to give and give and give . . . and ayun, I exhausted my account. I’m really not the best when it comes to financial matters, but this can’t be my reason all the time. I’m already 30, and when I think about this, I become anxious of my future.

I only started this around September when I got my professional fee. Maliit lang ‘yung bills here kasi I pay my share at the start of the year. Food here ay ‘yung takeouts from Food Panda and Grab, and Gifts here include giveaways, charity work, and mga palibre to friends and family. Sadly, in three months, I’ve spent a six-digit amount. Imagine kung whole year. Hayst.

Nagkaroon din ako ng malalang depressive episode this year. Again, I’m not the type who seeks help from friends (but I really appreciated those who reached out). Ginawa kong coping mechanism ang pag-draw. Check my IG stories na “coping mechanism” ang label, pero may content warning na agad.

I also gained weight, from 50 to 53. Low to for me kasi I’m maintaining at mabilis talaga ako mag-gain. Sa stress din siguro. Nag-start ‘to noong parang naging laging pagod ang feeling ko, around December. Ini-insist ko pa rin kasi ang routine ko kahit gusto ng katawan kong magpahinga. In return, kinain ko nang kinain. Sana makabalik ako sa 50 ulit before it gets worse.

Next Steps

  • Save more. Ito talaga. Since tapos ko na rin naman na ang kuwarto ko (next blog na lang), I don’t need to splurge on anything naman na. Titigil-tigilan ko rin muna ang puro libre. Marupok kasi ako when it comes to that. Partida, from September lang ang account ko. What more if I start fresh next year? Nakakatakot. Gusto ko i-try ‘yung 50-30-20. I hope it will work kasi naging pabaya ako sa 80-20. Titigilan ko na ‘tong “I deserve this.” Masasabi ko na lang na deserve ko kung natupad ko na adulthood goals ko siguro.
  • Go back to a healthy lifestyle. I’ll start exercising again. Natigil na naman kasi ulit. And healthier foods.
  • Read, watch, draw. Goal ko next year ang makabasa ng mas maraming libro at makapanood ng mas maraming films. Last year kasi, puro nga ako trabaho until the end, unlike the previous years. Movie-goer pa man din ako, but given this pandemic, I don’t think I can watch in the theaters anytime soon. Wala rin akong nabasa this year na hindi part ng work ko. Draw . . . yeah. I just want to hone my skills pa. Plan ko like every week, iba. Watch a movie sa first week, read a book sa second week . . . something like that.
  • Sa work, gusto ko pa mas maging dedicated. Ewan, I felt na lacking pa rin ako in this aspect. Or as a workaholic, gusto ko lang lagi akong may inaasikaso while reaching for a goal. Siguro dapat isama ko rin ‘to sa resolution ko—na uso magpahinga at na hindi kailangan i-unnecessarily exhaust ang sarili.
  • Writing-wise, ang goals ko e set per story. This year, gusto ko lang matapos ang Laro Tayo and start my wlw novels (yes, plural) na. Magiging break ko ang short stories in between.

Ayun. That ends my reflection. I hope you all had a fruitful year. Sana, ngayong 2022 din. Let’s stop making excuses for ourselves, kesyo hindi natin kaya, kesyo ganito tayo pinalaki. We grow, we learn. Let’s shift our mindset. Patama ko talaga ‘to sa sarili ko every year. Hahaha.

Thank you for being a part of my 2021. 🍑

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