Nakababaldadong Kalungkutan

Ayan na naman siya. Nananahimik ako. Kanina masaya naman ako. Okay naman ako. Kuntento naman ako. Pero katahimikan ang biglang hihila sa 'kin pababa. May iba na sinasabing, "Baka hindi 'to mag-work out." Pero nagwo-work out. Sa kaso ko, kahit anong perspective ko, kahit anong optimism, ang resulta, hindi nagwo-work out. Siguro once lang nangyari …

Bad Days

Do you ever feel like . . . no matter what you do, you'll never be good enough?

Peach [Insert Verb Here]

Ang dami ko na namang gusto gawin sa buhay. Gusto ko matuto ulit sumayaw. Tipong gagawa ako ng interpretative dance ng "killing boys" ni Halsey tapos magpapapansin ako sa kanya. Gusto ko kumanta at maggitara at irekord ang mga ginawa kong kanta. Pinakinggan ko 'yong isa no'ng isang araw. Lumaki pala ang boses ko? Haha, …

Somebody Told Me to Get a Therapist

Tita, we're on quarantine. I could have gone to my therapist if I had the time. I'm not even sure who to go first after this. The dermatologist? My face is breaking out. The dentist? Why am I having jaw pains? The therapist? Probably. I might break again soon. I'm tired of hearing you say …

Thoughts at 1:00 AM: Writing Keeps Me Alive

I want to cease to exist. And maybe you've read this many, many times here. Because when I do, my mind works. It suddenly stitches words together. Into sentences. Into paragraphs. Into stories. Until I finally finish one. Maybe writing has become both my defense and coping mechanism? I'm not sure. But it is the …