The Twelfth of April 2020

Easter Sunday, yes. But it's also my mom's second death anniversary. I still regret that I wasn't able to bring her to Batanes. She'd always say, "Kapag gumaling ako," and I firmly believed that she would. She was strong, unlike me. But even strong people pass away. I still blame myself for that one time …

Randomly Missing My Mom

My younger brother dreamed about my mother the other day. He said he was seated on her lap in a cradle position when my mother asked me to call Papa and announce she was there. While I was on the phone, she told my brother, "Hindi ko kaya na wala kayo." She has entered my …

I Dreamed of Mama Today

We were lining up for something when I saw her in her sunflower dress, standing, smiling, but not speaking. Her eyes were tired like the one she wore during her last days of her life. After realizing it was Mama—my mom who should have been dead—I knew I was in a dream. But I would …

If I Can Turn Back Time

Blankly looking at the laptop, she waited for the three o'clock alarm. Her mind was already elsewhere, even though she still had three hours left to work. She immediately got up, almost tumbling her desk that held her laptop, and muttered a soft sorry as if air were human. Grabbing her pink towel from the edge …

Remembering Six Years Ago

I'm in the middle of work, and I paused to check on my Twitter, only to see sablay pics. Again, I remember the time when I rebelled a week before my graduation. I remember borrowing sablay from one of my orgmates (because I had no enough money), and I didn't want to burden anyone that …